Vol. 1 Ed. 16 August 24, 2025 Forgiveness as Expansion: Making Space for Clarity, Peace, and Reach

To carry grief is to drag the body of someone you loved through every room you enter” – Kaveh Akbar, Martyr!  

Dear Brilliant Community,

This week I’ve been wrestling with forgiveness. Not the easy kind—the “say it, move on” kind—but the kind that feels like clearing out a drawer you didn’t know was stuffed with scraps, holding space you didn’t realize you’d been carrying.

I’ve been asking myself bigger questions: How do I extend my reach? How do I build something beyond the limits of what I can physically do, beyond the hours I can bill, beyond the work I can personally deliver? Forgiveness has surprised me by showing up as part of that answer. I’ve realized that scaling a business requires a scaled-up mindset—one that isn’t clogged with the weight of minor slights and perceived disagreements. Forgiving is how I clear the mental space to focus on building.

forgiveness

Don’t Drag Harry

A coach once told me a story about two groups of golfers. One group finished their round quickly. The other took hours. When they finally returned, someone asked why it had taken so long. The answer: Harry died on the first hole. Instead of returning to the clubhouse, they dragged Harry through all 18 holes.

That image has stuck with me. Too often, I’ve dragged my own “Harry”—dead weight in the form of hurts, rigid principles, or unspoken slights. They don’t just slow me down; they blind me from seeing what’s possible. Like Jefferson Fisher reminds us in The Next Conversation, not every disagreement has to become an argument. And Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory nudges us to let people do what they’re going to do and stop fighting battles that don’t belong to us.

These aren’t just relationship tips—they’re business principles. When I’m carrying resentment about a client interaction or frustration over a missed opportunity, I’m dragging Harry. That energy I spend replaying conversations or nursing wounded pride? That’s energy I could be using to create, to scale, to build something bigger than my current capacity.

The Practice of Peace

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements has been a longtime compass: be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. That principle of not taking things personally has been echoing lately—especially when I catch myself making someone else’s decision or reaction mean something about my worth or my work.

When I first moved to North Carolina, I bought a canvas that still hangs in my home office. It reads:

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.- Unknown

That reminder is coming alive again. Forgiveness is the practice of peace—not because the noise or trouble disappears, but because I choose to stop dragging it with me. It’s the difference between reacting to every bump in the road and keeping my eyes on where I’m headed.

The Expansion

Here’s what I’m discovering: forgiveness isn’t just about letting go—it’s about making room. Room for clarity instead of confusion. Room for possibility instead of limitation. Room for the kind of expansive thinking that building beyond your current capacity requires.

When I’m not spending mental energy on who said what or why something didn’t go as planned, I have that energy available for vision. For strategy. For the kind of bold thinking that scales a business from personal service to lasting impact.

The first step to building beyond your own capacity turns out to be stopping the habit of carrying weight that was never yours to hold.

The Question for You

What slight, assumption, or perceived offense are you still carrying? What would it feel like to lay it down—not to excuse what happened, but to create space for your own clarity and free up the energy you need to build what’s next?

✨ Next week, I’ll share more about how this shift in perspective is changing the way I think about business, scaling, and impact. For now, I’m practicing not dragging Harry—and discovering just how much faster I can move when I travel light.

With you in the field,

Soyini